Day one: Inside Lamakaan

I have no beginning and no end for this post, but I have something to say in the middle, that today is little special for me, as I have taken my first move towards steps that assumably will take me to my goal of being a journalist. Yes, I am still on the ground and not even close to the steps, but started moving towards it (may be not, I just only took a step), instead of wandering everywhere else like I did for all these days. I will leak my exact plans to you, let’s think that I am reporting the story of myself. And this is my first report.

My plans are very simple: Learn everything, go everywhere, meet everyone, listen to everything, be prepared, take time, start expressing, don’t ever stop!

First of all, my biggest drawbacks:

  1. I am neither a good writer, nor a good reader. To put it exactly, I greatly suck at both.
  2. I have no idea of current affairs or politics or what the **** a journalist do need for excelling in particular field. I am only standing at the beach watching the ocean and I still waiting to explore the continental shelf, let alone the abyss and the entire ocean.
  3. I can’t focus on a thing. I keep drifting away. And there is nothing I have ever succeeded that I wanted to do for myself. (The only things I ever succeeded are the ones that the others had placed in front of me.) Simply putting, I loose my motivation most often.


My Biggest Advantages:

  1. I can be a good journalist if I become one. Because I believe I can balance the ethics and the duty of my work to the best.
  2. I am very flexible and acceptable to the stress or struggle that my work may put me into.


Reading is really a very very difficult task to me:

The only stuff I am good at reading is physics and those are the only articles I can finish to the end. If it is a bit advanced science article, I usually try my best to explore the basics and understand it. But, it really won’t help me being a journalist or to be a good writer or to know the society better. Because all I can care while I read those articles is the Science in it and not the English.

As a bright side, there are also some science books which have a philosophical touch in it and hence, in a way provide readers to read it like a novel, feeling the English vocab and at the same time, engaged with the Science. And yes, I have some in mind and am looking to give a wave at them once, like “what is life” by Erwin Schrödinger. It may help me to get used to reading books, and actually to be able to finish reading itself.

I was also little afraid until a few hours ago that what if I wanted to become a scientist after reading such books. Fortunately, I know that I can’t afford science, that’s a lot lot to learn!  Apart from that, I seek truth from the society more than I seek it from the universe, because I’ll have to live in society first. But the real bummer is that science is very fascinating, while the society is not!!

Surprisingly, I have a good news for this too. I found out a list of books day-before-yesterday on journalism, starting from how to write, journalist ethics, journalist stories, some great books that inspired journalists, how media works etc. etc with really good and a  vast number of topics. I strongly believe that I can start reading these without loosing interest, because many of these books are not novels and I believe these will be as much as fascinating as science. I can pick up a book and start finishing one by one until I can turn myself into a ‘book addict’ and with actually little knowledge about journalism too. (yes, a book addict! I have to be one. Journalist needs that more than anything, to collect facts, to acquire plenty of knowledge for doing a proper research and to finally to publish an article). So, the first goal is “To be a book addict”.

I have only a little knowledge on society:

I always have this thought which bugs me while I read news “Will I gain anything after I finished reading this article??” If it’s a political piece, the dilemma occurs due to the fact that I was not knowing it’s background and hence no reason to read a random piece of the whole story. So, I usually put everything which I have no prior knowledge about, out of my head. This is the way I’ve ended up having very less knowledge on the current affairs or the local politics.

With the time given, I should try to explore one by one issue. I am not prioritizing it, my first priority is to be a book addict. But, I will try to take sips of social issues whenever possible. I will not bother about this now, my previous point and the next point are more important for me now.

Motivation and belief is the biggest problem:

It seems a very good idea, reading books one by one. But there are many times I have faced this, it is very difficult to keep motivated when you think of the vastness of the journey. I might have found motivation today, but how long will it drive me? And how long will I be able to keep the motivation? Undeniably, not so long. On some day, with in a week, if to put it hardly, I might end up having no belief of that I could continue doing what I had been doing. It’s really the hardest part of all.

Do I think I can really be a journalist?

Until few hours ago, 100% yes (in dreams) and 20% yes, in reality. Now, I would say 50% yes, in reality.

Am a I being too optimistic here by saying that I have 50% chance, after all I haven’t taken a step and with my drawbacks over-weighing my advantages?

The reason I would say 50% is, just think, if you know that that you have a least percent of chance to win a thing, why the hell would you dare to bet on it. You would bet only if there was 50% or more chance. So, hell I decide it’s 50%, because I’v decided to be a journalist. All I need is to win every minute of my life from now on that gives me opportunity with 50% chance.

The motivation 

So, I found this place today: Lamakaan in Banjara Hills, Hyderabad. It’s a cultural place provided by Lamakaan trust open for everyone, to come and interact or showcase their talents with talks, screenings, plays, exhibition, converse, cafe, chat etc.. I happened to find it online while looking for a good place to study. An anxious me have reached to it’s fb page, went through all the photos, and sent a message to the administrator:

“I need one information from you. Before that let me tell you my brief story. I am a project engineer in Wipro. I am dreaming to be a journalist..but no prior experience or degree in it …and adding to that, I am not a regular book reader..I have read only 3 books completely in my whole, I am trying to start reading more and more books and eventually to be a good reader & writer too…I prefer to read non-fiction – history, biographies, science etc (I don’t like novels)..time has passed..2 years gone and here I am…still the progress in my reading ability..I am loosing my focus at home…so, I have decided to spend my time in libraries on weekends…searched for libraries in Hyderabad on google and in Quora…found a few libraries…IGM, City Central library and others…I had once visited British Library with the same intention that I might find good books there..but mostly all of them are novels or others, but nothing related to science..So, I am little doubtful if I can find my choice of books to read in the other libraries I mentioned. However, I am planning to visit Hyderabad Central Library /IGM next week. Now coming to point, I’v found in quora that at Lamakaan, there is space for reading..But when I visited your page, I have other thoughts..I am actually also looking for a mentor, as I find mysef last 2 years only dreaming and not doing anything except office work. I am not focused at my goals, as I have been having wide range of goals (sometimes I think of a scientist, journalist, traveller, or an IT guy working at company like Google. But nothing excites me more than imagining myself being a journalist. There is a good reason for it. I see truth. It gives me more satisfaction and pleasure than anything else in this world. Even wanting to be a scientist is the same reason.) So, I think may be if I can spend my weekends at Lamakaan, I can meet new people, at the same time I can volunteer, I can get inspired to read/write. Or I can spend my time reading and at the same time, I can practice being a journalist by interacting and taking daily notes of the activies there. So, many childish hopes. So, now what I am asking you is, after hearing my long short story, do you think Lamakaan is a right place for me?”

For those who are not willing to read the whole shit I wrote to him – I sent him the big short story of myself (the story that you’ve already known by now) and asking whether I can make Lamakaan useful for me.

The next day, he replied like this:

“Hi, welcome to Lamakaan and mid-life crisis. smile emoticon sure, you are welcome to drop by at Lamakaan whenever you can chk for events and we have a film screening this thursday 19th may 7pm about the decision crisis faced by at Reporters at NY Times during wikileaks. You are also welcome to drop by weeknds or whenevenr we are open and meet people, make friends etc. We also have a small book shelf; help your self.

I treated this as a very good signal and really looked out going there on Thursday. So, I reached there, leaving early from office, in office cab at 5:40 pm while the screening would start at 7:00 pm. I must explain my day there and the environment.

I thought there wouldn’t be much people there.So, I was thinking may be the few people that could be in the house might show curiosity of my so early presence there and come talking to me. As I reached the place, I was asking the watchman who stood at the entrance if I could go inside and he showed me the usual pedestrian way around to go and he didn’t even bother about me asking for permission. So, I thought “Cool!” And immediately I found the house entrance and the adjacent street road and then the house itself full of people. I was little happy that I can go unnoticeable without any weird introduction of me.


At the entrance room, I had noticed small boards with posters and events list written on it. Standing at the entrance, I made a quick 360° glance and found a cafe on my right side, room and a balcony full of benches on my left side and people on both the sides. I actually had a panoramic visit of the most of the building the day I found it online. So, I was not surprised with the building, but surprised by the amount of people there, for sure. I saw stairs to the second floor, where I was not able to visit in the panoramic view. And it seemingly blocked by people. So, I though it’s not our jurisdiction. Then, I ordered “Ek Plate Samosa”. I was shocked by the mini size of the two, but not angry, as I know that it brings some revenue to the place. Then, I found my place in the balcony, started eating one by one, piece by piece, and  kept staring at everyone and my surroundings. My impression at that time: it’s just like our AUCE cafeteria at Mechanical department, where everyone come for time pass and there’s no one really worth to interact or do they care?  I see people coming on cars, bikes and some posh people really, and I had started judging them.

After finishing my samosas, I had a “Nimbu Pani”, then found the gallery in the ground floor where the movie screening will take place, the chairs were already arranged and one foreigner and a woman sitting and discussing something, seems very educative. So, I know they are from US consulate. I don’t want to give them an awkward impression by sitting near to them. So, I sat in a chair at a distance from them. Other people were also there talking in groups, mostly friends I guess. Some arrangements were being made to setup the projector. I thought I came so early and no reason to sit there and expose my anxiety in front of others. (In fact, I also want my anxiety to be known by a few that could offer me some valuable interaction.) I left from there and went to first floor again, noticed book shelf, kept staring at all the books (which could be all together, less than 40), hoping to find the likes of my book. Unfortunately, all the books were novels. That’s a big bummer!! Depressing!! Then I saw people using laptops and wifi. My phone was switched off and I had nothing else with me, except an empty bag with probably “Orbit White” sachets. “Hmm..Looks like it’s a good place to hang at night and read some books”, I thought. Then I asked one of the guys if it opens at night time. They said that 10 pm was the closing time.  So, another bummer!! I can’t afford to travel up to 20km, hoping for some privacy to read. But inside I was thinking that I could explore for more such places or I could use my ODC, or WIPRO’s library.

The people seem to be really cool. All age groups were present. I have never any likeliness for arts, as I think its boring. And the people here seems to adore arts. So, they were not really of my league. My only hope is to find some journalists there, that day.

So, I kept on roaming outside, inside, up stair, down stair and at last, sat outside near the gate, for 15-20 minutes, I had realized, it’s time to go to gallery again. I found first chair in the third row in the gallery, hoping for a breeze, did I mention it’s open gallery? Then people started coming and the gallery was almost full. We had an introductory speech by the person from US consulate and a guy whom the US consulate guy called as “Mr. Namakaan”. I think he was the one who’d probably replied me on facebook. I saw one old age woman sitting in the next row beside me. She was very sincere and curious out of all, just like me, just before the movie started to screen, she crosschecked with the other people if it is that documentary “Page One: Inside New York Times”. I felt quite happy that there are people who are curious for a documentary on Journalism and what here age could be – 60 or even more?  That minute, I was sure that I was in a good company of people. The movie started and  I kept struggling to sit in that chair in a fixed position till the end of the movie. The documentary is about the New York Times and it’s struggling career in modern times, the decisions it should make to be avoid it’s bankruptcy. It’s quite good, I felt sleepy at some parts, but as a whole, it really showed how news papers work and it’s challenges. Apart from that, it tried to evaluate different forms of media like internet, TV etc. I liked it.

As the movie ended, as happy as I was that I no longer need to sit in that chair, I was sad the same that I should be leaving now. But luckily that’s not it, the US consulate guy had begun a discussion over the documentary. He started asking questions and moving randomly from person to person and handing over the mic to them for their opinions.  First, he had asked about what we feel as the New York Times had made it’s online version paid. Then he asked if we invest our money to read it online, if the New York Times should have not published sensitive government articles of wiki leaks, and the same question again and again and again, in different ways, along with a few others I don’t remember.

I have seen many kinds of persons there, mostly journalists of all ages. The old woman had not stayed for the debate. One looks to be very senior, and experienced, and probably a journalist, who was very fluent in English and felt no shy to express his views and showcase what he knows. Another guy might be a TV artist, or a TV journalist,  I had seen him somewhere before. One woman who sat beside me, must be a journalist too, also very fluent in English had given her opinions.Two senior citizens, by the appearance, could be Bengali journalists, each tried to prove their knowledge. And 2 guys also with clear views on journalism and with fluent English had shared their comments. And one other woman, with whom I mentioned the consulate guy was talking before, also was kept giving her opinions on the topic. They all seem to be of top notch at speaking and also at knowledge. But, at the same time, they were really normal people with normal brain. So, I felt encouraged.

During the whole time of the discussion, I  was trying to add my opinion too. I had asked for a mic once gesturing my hand and the guy didn’t notice me asking. Since the time I too wanted to speak,  I started having my heart beat goes up and started shivering inside. We still had chance until the end of the discussion to speak as many as times. So, I had decided to speak and that it’s either now or never. Then for the next question about wiki leaks, I had taken mic from guy sitting behind me and dared to answer. I had a perfect rehearse before taking the mic, but a soon as I started speaking, I started stuttering very very badly, that I barely completed a sentence. The guy came close, and wanted to help me finish my answer quickly, by showing an approving face. I did answered but not in the exact way I wanted to.

The question was “Do you support New York Teams leaking sensitive government information on collaboration with Wiki Leaks?”

My Answer was

“In a journalist point of view, at the time of leak happened,

– they might be having a dilemma over their ethics as journalists. They might be thinking that as a journalist they should provide whatever information they had to public without judging it’s privacy or any personal opinions over the matter. It is in the interest of the people to derive a conclusion from the whole information they provide. In my opinion, they should be also act as responsible citizen and shouldn’t leak any sensitive information to public, which is rather unnecessary, but only to create more chaos. We should take a very few things like these, sometimes in our judgement.

– But also they could be gone too greedy / compelled to coordinate with Wiki leaks to earn revenue.”

Luckily, everyone had understood the answer. And I acknowledged that as the guy repeated what I had said in his own words and that it was a valid point, to talk about a journalist ethics. He also mentioned that there going to be another sessions regarding the ethics of Journalism. That was relaxing. And also after some time, one girl of my age, whose face I couldn’t see in the dark, pointed my answer and says that she agrees with me. Then, I thought I had added a little value and I did worth a little among those. So, I interrupted one more time at nearly end of the session to tell them about “Pinnochio” Korean drama. I had started speaking with out mic and was asking if anyone had ever seen Pinnochio Korean drama. The consulate guy had an expression saying why did I talk about all that there and also looked like no one had seen it. So, I started explaining the summary of the movie. He had to come to me and handover the mic. I wished he hadn’t given me the mic. Because, everything looked to be going normal and I started stuttering again in mic. As he was asking the mic by extending his hands, I kept trying to complete my story. They were not interested. But they did got the summary that I tried pointing another example of Journalist ethics. He then concluded that if we kept talking it would take the whole night for us and so ended the session.

So, as everyone dispersing, some stayed talking to each other. I stood there, assuming that some of them might be journalists and I wanted to have any suggestions from them. So, they noticed I was not leaving and so the consulate guy shook my hand greeting me to send me politely. Then, I had the chance and I asked him why did they do that screening and what for? The hyderabadi guy intervened and said that they were fun loving people and so they want to create such events. I asked him again, why this topic. He replied just to get interest of the audience. I was not convinced and I asked him if it was official from US consulate and he said yes. I asked him again why and he kept saying the same sentence for every question of mine that they were fun loving people. Then he wanted to know what I do. As I said I work in WIPRO, he asked me the location and I also said this is my first attendance here and I am an aspiring journalist. He gave a free advice to me that I need to keep money and go for Masters of Journalism in US. Then, I left.

I came to the bus-stop, walking with myself, throwing my bag up in the air, in thirst for a coco-cola. I was really happy, that I had taken my first step, and actually involved in a debate that was full of journalists. It really did motivated me today. I believed I can make it possible, if I can be more punctual, if I keep learning, if I keep working hard on my drawbacks, I can make it possible.

So, this is the kind of motivation I look every day. I can visit Lamakaan in the day time too, on Saturdays and Sundays. I have decided, whether I benefit from there or not, I want to try everything, which will keep me moving and any new interactions there will keep me motivated. I will try my chances and let’s see how far I can be kept motivated.

And this was how it went “Day One: Inside Lamakaan”, having watched the documentary “Page One: Inside the New York Times”.


Movies and what I have learnt from them

Big Fish  

  • The world I am living in is not big enough for my growing thoughts. I am in a lilliput land and I must allow my whole  body to grew on its own or else I will be one of those lilliputs.

 You are also a big fish…escape from your tiny pond!!! Don’t compromise with your dreams. If you try to change with the world, you can’t sustain when the world changes much faster. So, do what you want to do, fulfil your dreams, then even the drastically changed world means nothing to you…else, you will also be like a bigfish in a tiny pond.

Big Fish

In bruges

  • Life is simple with simple rules which we make complicated with complicated decisions
  • Stick to your rules, enjoy the thrill in others’ rules. Even death is nothing to fear, which is afterall an end.
In Bruges

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Batman: The DarkKnight

  • Everything in the world is chaos.
  • Do I really look like a guy with a plan?You know what I am? I’m a dog chasing cars. I wouldn’t know what to do with one if I caught it. You know, I just… do things. The mob has plans, the cops have plans, Gordon’s got plans. You know, they’re schemers. Schemers trying to control their little worlds. I’m not a schemer. I try to show the schemers how pathetic their attempts to control things really are..

The Dark Knight

Eternal Sunshine on the spotless mind

  • Remember the past, then you will be happy in the present.
  • Never miss the loved ones. They are your past.If you ever have to let them go, find a milliion reasons to make them stay.

Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind

Just from heaven

  • See this? This is the world.Join it.Stop swimming around in your own mind.
  • Love is the most beautiful thing in the world of life. You have to wait for it. Don’t go for it.

Just like heaven

Still there are many, I will be listing as many as if possible.

For a better society without chaos

It’s been a long time since I posted anything here. In my first post, I talked about the need for excellence. Before then, I was actually motivated by a video and by the environment of campus recruitment that  took place at that time.

Unfortunately, after my last post, I was totally dull somehow. In the meanwhile, I had many complex thoughts, little experiences  and also big lessons. I never dared to write another post, due to confusions in my head. But for the last 10 days, I have been working like a machine, not expecting absolutely anything in return, just helping some people in their tasks. Even though I have my project and my examinations on the other side, I didn’t say no to anyone. It’s all because I was almost lost in control of taking my decisions. Nothing was really going as I expected to be. Twenty Four hours of thinking about the old days and people I miss, I never had bothered about my profits or advantages. I had also sat for 32 hours in my bed continuously, without eating anything, doing some work for my professor. All these things by me because I was absolutely clueless and confused. 

But after all these days, I have realized one thing. I had the satisfaction of helping others all these days. I received some respect. Though many of them may not have that gratitude, while helping them, I didn’t have any other thoughts or worries. Even though, the people whom I love were unfortunately not able to treat me well in return, it’s my foolishness if I blame them. I had actually the feeling of being a good friend to them. Isn’t the feeling enough?? There are many bigger problems in the world..poverty, corruption, inhumanity and many. As a human, I am responsible for all the chaos in the society. What I could do is, I can actually reduce the chaos by allowing the unfinished tasks to finish, helping people, helping government and helping family.

What I would like to say is everyone in our life suffers. As a human, we should help the other people. We should understand their problems and make everything better. We shouldn’t take decisions selfishly, we should try to be as social as possible. Even if you were hurt in the process, you should give them a chance to make it better. Otherwise, you will end up like a selfish bastard in the future with no happiness. I am not saying that I am perfect and even, I shouted at my friend while writing this. What I am saying is we should adapt to this nature and get used to it. 

And Human Life is very pathetic…our brains control our lives completely… we never will be happy if we follow our brain…it misleads us everywhere!!! But we also have heart, which is always motivated by love, which is kind and generous, strong and brave and which knows only good and bad,…and which can actually make us happy…So what I am saying is never be so clever…but try to be a good lover…don’t think of possible results with your brain…but respond to the state of your people and act accordingly. Your mind may tell you not to give money to a beggar, but your heart always tell to help him.

If you don’t agree, watch “The God’s must be crazy!!” movie.. in it shows really how pathetic our lives has become.

– Note : I know this is a failure post. But I am trying to be better with blogging and failures are stepping stones to success.

And again if you try to understand how cleverly I have written, it’s worthless. Instead try to feel my emotions

Six decades of profession…

Six decades of professional career has taught me two things clearly… First, there is absolutely no substitute for hard work .. and second, no matter what is the environment around you.. it is always possible to maintain your brand of integrity.

Said by APJ Abdul Kalam

>Harsha Bhogle – Achievers of Excellence @ IIM Ahmedabad

Hiee Friends!!! This is my first post ever.
I will keep on posting when I am free a few nice things to read that are happening or I came across in my life.
Recently, our Geology Professor Santha Ram had shown us a video about excellence in his Geology class. The video was quite inspiring, but however, I couldn’t find the video on net. It tells about Excellence. It says: “Excellence is not a skill, it is an attitude– a famous quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson. And Keep your passion and desire alive and always ask for more and never be finished. A brief achievements of 5 people: Amitabh Bachan, Mahatma Gandhi, Steve Jobs, Walt Disney and Madame Curie, who are excelled in their respective fields are presented. And all of them have one thing in common – “The Passion” and “The Desire”…which had driven them to the excellence.
But while searching for this video, I have found another video on the net that was of Harsha Bhogle’s Speech in IIMA about Excellence, which nearly hypnotised me. It is such a good speech and I want to share it to everyone. In fact, it motivated me to start this blog.
The whole video is split into two parts:

Harsha Bhogle – Achievers of Excellence @ IIM Ahmedabad Part 1/2

Harsha Bhogle – Achievers of Excellence @ IIM Ahmedabad Part 2/2

Please comment and your motivation helps me to write still more and better articles..:)